Just exactly what am I grasping on so tightly? Absolutely nothing... It's that time to finally see, truly see, there was nothing to begin with... Open up my eyes and understand... Process... It's time to let go... Stop hoping, wishing, dreaming about what could've happened and think about what did happen and work with that... Stop wasting energy and put it to good use. Instead of seeing the glass half empty, see it as half full, like it always have been. The blindness really got to me... Blocking out everything and letting all the negativity attach to me so tightly, not letting go of it... As if there was no escape... I wasn't trying hard enough... Got so caught up in stupid shit for no reason... Just because... It's not even a legit reason... But for now, it'll do because even as of now, I'm still a bit dazed and confused about everything... I am slowly putting the pieces back together... Things like this can't be worked out overnight, although I would really like that, it never happens that way. So help me out, work with me, lend me a crying shoulder, like the one I lent out when you needed one.

"Better in time" Just because you don't see tears rolling down my cheeks doesn't mean my heart isn't pouring... Urg~! Just fucken get over it! Seriously... Why can't I? >=( "Everything will be okay"

Such load of bullshit. Saying things, making people believe it, giving false hope. What kind of shit is that? So selfish... What, thought it'd be easier, less pain? Yeah, okay... Just made things worst... Falling faster and harder, crashing, no control in stopping it...

Un-fucken-believable...

Selfish much?

I'm so tired of everything, this life. I'm ready for a new one...

What to believe, who should I believe? Just shut the fuck up. >=(

Is anything right in my life? I'm a total fuck up. My dukes are the biggest assholes... No wonder they raised a screwed up daughter... There is no one that I can depend on. In a world standing alone and it just gets crueler...

No matter how nice or generous, people will fuck you over regardless cause they're cunts. Plain and simple. So flip them off and bounce.

Mmmkays, shutting brain off and to bed I go. Peace?! As much as I depise this thing called life... Sometimes... I am greatful for it. I was able to meet you, get to know you and feel what it's like to have you. Although it seemed like a short period of time we've been together, we sure did have a lot of laughs and good times. (: For now we've parted and gone our seperate ways, I hope we'll bump heads at the end of the road. :] I'll always be here for you, no doubt. ^@^ Just gimme a holla! ;]

Missing you. <3 What else is there to say or do... He doesn't love me the way he use to, I am no longer "the one"... No matter how many things we went through together, the things I did for him, the things he did for me, it still couldn't help keep the relationship together... Yeah, I wanted it to work and so did he, at least thats what I was told... When you love someone, you don't give up so easily or give up at all... Yeah, maybe I was dragging on with what I wanted to do but that's just because I wasn't sure about anything. The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted to be with you...

I'm so confused still... I just don't understand how I went and applied myself for school wasn't reassuring enough... Doesn't that prove anything to you, that I'm more than committed and I want us to be good... Like I said, it wasn't even like I was postponing this whole thing, I went and got my shit together once I got back to Boston. When I asked you how that wasn't reassuring, you went on telling me something and kind of trailed off... I don't know what to believe... First you say I was pushing you away, then you wasn't being reassured enough, you're being selfish, the time wasn't right, ya-de-yah-yah... The conversation just went in a circle... It was like, same question but different response...

Don't lose sleep over this just because I am, eat right, one of us has to, treat yourself good because I can't...

You're a great man... You'll make some other girl really happy. I wish you the best of lucks... And us being friends...

I still love you. × Right now I'm... ×
→ Feeling: Confused
→ Eating: Nothing
→ Drinking: Nothing
→ Wearing: Black Beater.Gray Shorts
→ Listening to: Young Berg Ft. Ciara - Give You The Business
→ Watching: Nothing
→ Chatting with: No one
→ Thinking: About him...
→ Wanting: Him...
→ Wishing: For us to be okay...

Every day I'd shed some tears, wishing and hoping that everything will work out... I know you don't like knowing that I'm hurting or crying... I try not to, I really do because I know you can't stand it... I can't stand knowing you're hurting cause of me... But I just can't help it... Whenever I stop crying, I'd start all over again because I know you don't want to be with me... Why all of a sudden? Am I not being a good enough girlfriend for you? I just want to go back to a month ago, where we were nothing but happy...

When I look at people, they can see that I'm tired, losing so much sleep... They see someone that is unhappy... When I look at you, I'm filled with nothing but happiness and joy.

Without you, I am nothing...

"Now that I've lived with you, I can't live without you"

I don't want a future where you're not in it... Theres no such thing...

Waking up in the morning is so hard because I know today is going to be no different from yesterday...

People say with each passing day, it'll get better and easier. How? Without you, theres no escape...

I've always told you that you are worth the wait and I'm not going to go back on my word because you are, I'll be waiting...
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