» OneSweetyPie <33

{ Forty Two }

Thursday, September 11, 2008 | 7:05 AM | 0 Comment(s)

Suddenly the clouds have disappeared and the sun is shinning brightly down at me. Feels like all the weight have been lifted off my shoulders. I can finally breathe... The glimmer of hope is now beaming. (: Holding onto the littlest and hoping it'll come through. I had faith, just unaware of the time... Now I have all the time in the world.

You are not worth giving up. You're more than worth the wait. <3

I've always loved you and I always will, nothing will ever change that.

Glass is half full.

(:

{ Forty One }

Saturday, September 6, 2008 | 3:12 AM | 0 Comment(s)

Back in school. Yay! :] Finally feel like I'm doing something with myself, ya dig? ^@^

Get over it. Dx

{ Forty }

Thursday, August 21, 2008 | 3:27 AM | 0 Comment(s)

I don't know what I'm so afraid of... The one thing I was afraid of losing, I did, so what is the problem now? =/

I've fallen down this deep hole, no matter how hard I try to climb up, I fall right back down and start from the beginning...

I need to snap myself out of this trance... I keep lying to myself that all of this is a nightmare that I haven't awaken from... But in reality, I'm awake, aware of all of this. I just don't want to believe it, still want to be blinded with all the bullshit I'm telling myself.

When will I be okay? Like, for reals okay, not I'm okay now but will feel like shit later on tonight...

I miss...
- the late night talks
- the randomness that goes on between us
- the silence on the phone
- the feeling that I get when I hear your voice
- the I loves yous
- the I miss yous
- wake up calls
- kisses
- hugs
- you needing me
- holding hands
- smelling you and telling you that you smell gooood (:
- doing your laundry
- your smile
- all the happiness and sadness we shared
- driving around with you
- singing in your car
- getting boba and jamba
- webcaming
- your ringtone
- sleeping in with you
- gaming with you
- you texting me
- you asking me what I want to eat for lunch
- secure feeling I get when you're around
- watching you ball
- our endless convo's on aim
- your naughtyness
- running to you first when all hell breaks lose
- how you're understanding
- you compromising with me
- your sweetness
- how you can laugh for so long about something so silly
- getting lunch with you
- the short phone calls between breaks
- how nothing mattered in this world except for me&you
- pulling your finger
- watching the game
- beer pong
- turning red
- the butterflies in my tummy
- being your eskimo
- being your everything and you're mine
- being a part of you
- going to the movies
- shopping
- trying new things
- kitty
- Disneyland
- your obsession, butt~! huh? (:
- taking pictures
- the airport
- calling you pet names
- everything about you...

I've always told myself that I wouldn't let no dude get me down like this but that all changed when you walked into my life...

Does any of this matter? I know the answer yet I still want to challenge it but I'm afraid to accept the truth...

I miss you... I need you... I love you...

{ Thirty Nine }

Friday, August 15, 2008 | 5:08 AM | 0 Comment(s)

Just exactly what am I grasping on so tightly? Absolutely nothing... It's that time to finally see, truly see, there was nothing to begin with... Open up my eyes and understand... Process... It's time to let go... Stop hoping, wishing, dreaming about what could've happened and think about what did happen and work with that... Stop wasting energy and put it to good use. Instead of seeing the glass half empty, see it as half full, like it always have been. The blindness really got to me... Blocking out everything and letting all the negativity attach to me so tightly, not letting go of it... As if there was no escape... I wasn't trying hard enough... Got so caught up in stupid shit for no reason... Just because... It's not even a legit reason... But for now, it'll do because even as of now, I'm still a bit dazed and confused about everything... I am slowly putting the pieces back together... Things like this can't be worked out overnight, although I would really like that, it never happens that way. So help me out, work with me, lend me a crying shoulder, like the one I lent out when you needed one.

"Better in time"

{ Thirty Eight }

Tuesday, August 12, 2008 | 5:28 AM | 0 Comment(s)

Just because you don't see tears rolling down my cheeks doesn't mean my heart isn't pouring...

{ Thirty Seven }

Sunday, August 10, 2008 | 3:29 AM | 0 Comment(s)

Urg~! Just fucken get over it! Seriously... Why can't I? >=(

{ Thirty Six }

Wednesday, August 6, 2008 | 2:55 AM | 0 Comment(s)

"Everything will be okay"

Such load of bullshit. Saying things, making people believe it, giving false hope. What kind of shit is that? So selfish... What, thought it'd be easier, less pain? Yeah, okay... Just made things worst... Falling faster and harder, crashing, no control in stopping it...

Un-fucken-believable...

Selfish much?

I'm so tired of everything, this life. I'm ready for a new one...

What to believe, who should I believe? Just shut the fuck up. >=(

Is anything right in my life? I'm a total fuck up. My dukes are the biggest assholes... No wonder they raised a screwed up daughter... There is no one that I can depend on. In a world standing alone and it just gets crueler...

No matter how nice or generous, people will fuck you over regardless cause they're cunts. Plain and simple. So flip them off and bounce.

Mmmkays, shutting brain off and to bed I go. Peace?!

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